Tips That May Help...

When you're recovering from a break up or maybe you're looking for someone special to bring into your life.  When you're there's several things to think about and consider the question is are you thinking about them and are you listening to the answers you're getting back?  This is the biggest dilemma of them all most people know the questions they have to ask themselves but either don't or they block out the answers they are getting.  This is a big mistake you can't go through life without facing the facts and asking yourself the tough questions.  Yes, its scary moving on to the next chapter or taking a risk, but how else do you learn in life if your sitting in idol or not allowing yourself to feel or hear things that come along your path in life?  The answer is if you don't do these things you either never learn or all the demons you push down or block out come back to bite you(they will find you regardless of how far u push them away). 

So now you ask well how do I approach the dating thing or this certain someone I like? How do I know I'm ready?  These questions are all apart of the risk there isn't some formula or clear cut answer that fits everyone.  Most likely when you meet someone you'll know if you want to see it through further or not and you'll know right away if you're ready.  This is a process you cannot force and something that may take a longer time then you feel is appropriate.  The key is to not allow yourself to be inpatient or to force something less than what you want.  Now I'm going to lay out tips for both women and men that typically should help you through this process.....

For The Men in the Room.....

1. First a woman loves a confident man not a cocky man so don't over sell yourself or overdo your pitch of why your the perfect guy for her.
2. Secondly don't be over bearing this means state your intentions who you are and how you'd like to take her out or get to know her but don't push her... that's when you look desperate and you lose the whole confidence pitch you had been selling her.  This is the hard part but you must stick to it. 
3. Third LISTEN to what she is saying a woman wants a man who has her back and is interested in what she feels and what her needs and dreams are.  This helps build a strong relationship.  The better you can communicate with each other the easier it is to have a strong bond with someone and to make things work.  Listening really listening involves more than nodding your head and yes she will tell you more than just shopping and getting her hair done.  This will put you ahead of a lot of guys who just frankly don't care enough to put a woman before themselves.
4. Fourth do something for no reason at all  just to make her feel special doesn't have to be anything big just something to make her realize you're thinking of her and that she means a lot to you.  (this may be something you do after you get the chance to be her man but it could help show her you are the good guy you sell yourself to be)  This could be getting her a flower or picking her a flower, showing up at her work with lunch(made by you would be better) or any just because gift. 
5. The final tip for today is to be yourself and don't push the message your trying to send let her know and then back off and let her decide for herself whether or not she wants to get to know you, and the best way to do that is by being your true self.  Be honest and loyal to her and most likely it will work out and if it doesn't with her I promise if you stick to these simple tips someone will truly value you and give you a chance. 

These tips came from my many mistakes and several things I've picked up with working with women and hearing all they discuss over lunch breaks about there dislikes and wants.  So I am your inside source to valuable advice. 

For the Ladies in the Room...

1. First a lot of you ladies love playing hard to get and for good reason you've been hurt and you have walls the size of the Great Wall of China due to someone wronging you.  On that note you have to realize its hard for us men to fight a battle we know nothing about, we cannot change what happened to you, we can only try and prove to you it can be different.  What i am suggesting is play hard to get but at least give us guys a shot without so much trouble cause then we start to get the feeling as though we aren't good enough for you and that's no way to start a relationship. 
2. Secondly you're friends are important yes and they mean the world to you but I'm dating/trying to get to know you not them.  So take there opinions and feelings of me with a grain of salt listen to them register them but realize they don't know me on the same level as you. 
3. Third LISTEN communication is the key ingredient to making things work.  Without a woman who has your back us guys don't have a chance.  We want someone we can trust and depend on, the same values you look for in a man. 
4. Fourth you can go out of your way too ladies don't make us guys do all the work we love getting surprises just as much as you and we love knowing our girls/girls we are interested in really enjoy us and are thinking of us and want us around. 
5. The final tip of the day you may think you don't look the best you can but we do.  We chase after you go out of our way for you and look at you like a puppy dog because we are that into you and to us you are beautiful.  So that being said don't constantly say I'm fat, I'm this I'm that.  Men want a confident woman just like women want a confident man.  Nothing is more sexy than an independent woman that has confidence in herself and cares enough to work hard to make herself look good i.e working out, yoga, running. (this doesn't including manicures and pedicures and new hair does...most men are oblivious to this as I am sure you have found out.)

To both males and females the best way to connect to someone as you read is to communicate well with each other.  This means listening to one another perspectives and being able to talk NOT yell each other when you have a disagreement or a concern.  Also try spending time with each other and with each others friends.  Couples that do things together and can bond together with there friends and family as well are usually the successful and long lasting couple. 


I hope this helps and maybe opens your eyes to a new perspective and new idea on how to approach creating a new relationship or treating someone your already with in a better way.  Good Luck!!!!